It's My Pleasure Podcast

Ep. 161: The Permission Slip: Allowing Yourself to Change Your Mind Will Help Inc. Your Desire

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Do you ever struggle with scheduling sex because you’re afraid that when the time comes you might not like feel like it and you don’t want to get your partner’s hopes up? Or you hold yourself back from a midday makeout sesh or big french kiss because you know it’’ be met with a knowing grin and “Oh I see what’s going on” suggestion - and to be honest you just don’t know if you want to? Or maybe you have with all good intention been into it and then along the way you simply aren’t feeling it anymore, but it is easier to go along than stop things.

Then you have to listen to this episode. Subconscious fears about not wanting to disappoint your partner, give the wrong idea or lock yourself into something you aren’t so sure about are keeping you from feeling more desire.

And the solution is simply. Listen in to find out what...

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Ep. 160: ADHD, High Sensitivity, The Neurodivergent Brain & SEX

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Hello my fellow neurodivergent lovers! This episode is FOR you. Today we talk about how high sensitivity and ADHD tendencies can keep you from loving the sex you are having and dampening your desire and exactly what to do about it.

This episode originally showed up on The Black Sheep Playground podcast with Meg Kierstead and I loved the interview so much I wanted to share it here as well. Because to be honest it isn’t talked about a lot. How to regulate more - yes, how to get organized and stay on task - yes but sex and pleasure? Not so much.

In this episode I will give you specific tools, that I have used to work with my own neurodivergent brain, in order to relish in all the pleasure your body is wired for. Enjoy!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How to make your environment pleasure friendly
  • Creating a physical anchor to give your busy brain something to return to
  • ...
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Ep. 159: Caretaking vs. Caring For Your Lover

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Have you ever asked yourself the question what the difference between caring or caretaking is? And why am I even asking this question? Because if you are anything like me, or my clients, playing mother to your lover is for sure NOT a turn on. So when does genuine caring and doing something from love for another cross into the realm of being their caretaker? That is exactly what we will be discussing on this episode

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How caring plays a vital role in our intimate relationships
  • The identifying factors between caring and caretaking
  • How sex shows up in our ‘caretaking roles'
  • Choosing on purpose what and how you’ll do particular tasks so that you can continuously foster that passion

Featured on the Show:

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Ep. 158: Carry The Mental Load & Being Overwhelmed

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There is a lot of talk about the mental load and physical load of running a house that a woman in a heterosexual relationship typically experiences. And thank goodness - we NEED to be talking about this.

However, I do see some of this narrative getting turned into a laundry list of “dos” for our partner and often in the vein of “Maybe I would be more in the mood if I had more help”.

And I want to address why this subtle shift can be problematic to the connection you are actually wanting.

Also TANGLED is open - enroll now or email me to schedule a call to see if this program is right for you!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How we unintentionally create a transactional relationship and how exactly this causes less emotional intimacy
  • What we get wrong about emotional intimacy and who is really in charge of creating it
  • The generational belief that we...
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Ep. 157: The Trifecta of Sexual Satisfaction: Three Must-Dos

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Understanding sexual pleasure and desire can feel complex - there can be so many factors that impact your mood, your openness to receive and your experience of pleasure.

That being said, in order to increase your sexual satisfaction it really comes down to three essential things. You can keep your mind focus on these THREE things over and over again because you’ll always find little nuances to work with that will help you elevate your sensual experience.

Tangled is the group coaching program that starts in a couple of weeks and this is the framework we work from.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The top three things that will elevate your sexual experience over and over again.
  • Why it’s important to understand the nuances of each focus - what it means and what it doesn’t mean.
  • The skills to develop that will help you do each of these three things well

...

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Ep. 156: "I WANT What She Has" - Balancing The Pursuit of Pleasure While Staying Committed To Religious Beliefs

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“Babe. Listening to this woman was like I was listening to myself. I want to sign up for this program. I want what she has!” That’s the exact thing one of my clients said to her husband after listening to an interview about a year ago on “It’s My Pleasure”. Now she is coming on to share with all of you how this work, in her words, “has completely changed my LIFE.”

It is easy to think that truly LOVING your sex life and being orgasmically fulfilled is just for “other women” and not for you. My client Faith was nervous that the same might be true for her. Having had a conservative upbringing and being dedicated to her own religious beliefs, Faith was worried that it might not be in the works for her to love her sex life, but she knew she wanted things to change.

Listen in on this compelling story full of raw honestly,...

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Ep. 155: 5 Ways Your 'Yes's' Are Hurting Your Sex Life

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It’s easy to blame the “big” culprits for our lack of desire or intimate pleasure - things like crazy schedules, hormones, a partner who is being an a-hole. But what about the little things? The way that you are behaving that is unconsciously depleting you and cutting you off from your body?

This week we talk about the yes’s that are having a direct negative impact on your body, your desire and your intimacy. Not the all over, full body “hell yes!” but the habitual ways we say yes to others and expectations. Understanding the way we unintentionally hide our ’true’ self in the name of showing up the way we are expected to. How we start saying yes to avoid conflict and get approval - aka people pleasing.

In this episode we dive into the world of people pleasing, but in a way that will allow for more compassion AND motivate change. I want all...

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Ep. 154: Pleasure: A Vital Element To Successful Leadership w/ Emily Feairs

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For high achieving women, especially leaders, pleasure and rest tends to be seen as irrelevant to the important work and impact they are creating in the world. On this week’s episode, former client and leadership coach, Emily Feairs shares why we’ve got it all backwards.

Emily is The Feminist Leadership Coach. She has spent years as a leader in politics and knows from experience how overwhelm and perfectionism can get in the way of the most determined woman. She shares her own knowledge from years studying the brain with her lived experience leaning into more pleasure to show women how focusing on being pleased is key to being the badass you want to be in the world.

This conversation challenges the norms we’ve been taught and will demonstrate exactly why pleasure is vital to our success.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How your ability to lead ties to your...
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Ep. 153: How To Handle Mismatched Desire For More Satisfying Sex

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Mismatched desire is one of the main sources of frustrations and tension in sexual relationships. However most of us might label the different levels of desire as ‘mismatched’ when in fact that isn’t what is going on - which is exactly what we talked about in last week’s episode 152.

But what do you do if you have determined that it is in fact mismatched desire you are experiencing? Well tune in this week to find out. Sometimes it seems as though there is nowhere to go, but but there is actually a lot both partner’s can do to alleviate the tension and get back to pleasurable play.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What mismatched desire is an isn’t.
  • Why emotional responsibility is essential.
  • How to determine non-negotiable and where to go from there.

Featured on the Show:

  • FREE mini-course now available: FRESH - making your long time lover...
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Ep. 152: Is Mismatched Desire A Problem in Your Relationship? What To Do To Find Out.

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Mismatched desire is one of the main sources of frustrations and tension in sexual relationships. Mismatched desire is the term used when one person may want more than the other. This is the most common thing I clients will bring to me, however with further investigation most women will realize that there isn’t actually a problem with mismatched desire at all.

This week I want you to understand what mismatched desire is and isn’t, because how we handle this and move forward looks very different in either case. Learning more about yourself and about your partner will help both of you have much more satisfying sexual experiences - which is of course my aim! Listen on and find out if you truly are experiencing mismatched desire or perhaps the way desire is presenting itself is outside what media depicts.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The importance of labels and...
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