It's My Pleasure Podcast

I was talking with a woman the other day and she told me she has had an amazing sex life before. She has felt sexually alive in her body. She also told me that for a variety of reasons, she just doesn’t feel like that person anymore. She feels disconnected from her past-self, but she knows that it can be better again. This conversation is an example of what I’m calling the “pedestal effect”, putting a past version or a future version of yourself, and what is possible for you, on a pedestal. In this episode, I share with you why this can be a problem, and how to look at your current state and the current level of happiness with your sex life with love and appreciation, and why that is so important to taking it to the next level. 

Topics in this episode

• When we put others, or other verions of ourselves, on a pedestal, we automatically see ourselves as less-than
• How you’re inadvertently rejecting yourself right now
• Allowing yourself to look into the...

I was talking with a woman the other day and she told me she has had an amazing sex life before. She has felt sexually alive in her body. She also told me that for a variety of reasons, she just doesn’t feel like that person anymore. She feels disconnected from her past-self, but she knows that it can be better again. This conversation is an example of what I’m calling the “pedestal effect”, putting a past version or a future version of yourself, and what is possible for you, on a pedestal. In this episode, I share with you why this can be a problem, and how to look at your current state and the current level of happiness with your sex life with love and appreciation, and why that is so important to taking it to the next level. 

Topics in this episode

• When we put others, or other verions of ourselves, on a pedestal, we automatically see ourselves as less-than
• How you’re inadvertently rejecting yourself right now
• Allowing yourself to look into the...

In this episode, I wanted to share with you the six skills to practice for better sex. This is the foundation for the work I do with my clients, and they are the key to unlocking pleasure, pleasurable sex, and for being a pleasured woman. With these skills, you will be able to connect with your body, give yourself grace, and make incremental changes so that over time, your sex, and your life, keeps getting better and better. 

These skills are part of the foundational work we do in my group coaching experience, Better Sex in 90 Days, starting September 17th. If you’re on the fence at all, I encourage you to fill out an application and hop on the phone with me. This work changes your life. This isn’t to be waited on as something to do later. The longer we wait to make this a priority and don’t work on practicing these skills, is time that we are just letting life happen to us. This is the shit that matters most. 

Topics in this episode

• The 6 Skills to...

 A common misconception that the reason we’re not having orgasmic sex is because of our partner, or our children, or something else that is standing in the way. So many women truly feel that if things were different in their relationships, then they would be able to have better sex and it would be more attainable for them. In this episode, I explore some of these excuses and share with you why it’s not them, it’s you, and that instead of feeling guilt or shame, this is a powerful step in taking back control of your sexuality. We have to reprogram our brains on how it comes to thinking about your partner, yourself, and your sex life, in order to create the environment for pleasure, and that is what empowerment is all about. 

This is the exact work I do with my clients all of the time, because it’s about creating a process and a skill set so that you are changing who you are being as a woman. You become a turned-on woman. You become an orgasmic...

I recently wrapped up the first of my group coaching programs, Better Sex in 90 Days, and I want to start this episode by sharing feedback from one of the participants who said that she embarked on this journey because she saw how important it was for her husband. Now, after completing the program, she says that it is her favorite gift she’s ever given to herself. In the beginning, she was curious to see if sex was something that she could enjoy, not just something that was for her husband. Through this coaching, she now thinks about sex more often and learned that she actually likes sex a lot.

Which is what leads us to the topic of this episode. I hear from many women that they want to pursue coaching and investing in their sexuality because it will benefit their husbands or partners. The motivation for these women is that this investment is a good idea, simply because it will benefit the people around them, without really thinking about themselves. Listeners, I want to...

Have you ever withheld sex as a punishment or have used it as a reward for “good behavior”? I was on a call with a client recently and we were talking about this idea of withholding or rewarding with sex, and it made me think of a time in the early years of my very own marriage when I would tell my husband that if he did certain things, that he would be rewarded with sex. I remember one argument in particular over something really small, and I was paying attention to my brain as it had the thoughts, “I’m going to show him! I’m not going to have sex with him tonight. I might not even have sex with him this whole week!”

This idea of using sex as a reward or withholding it as a punishment is something that we see a lot of in our society. In this episode, I share why this thinking is so damaging to your own self-concept of your sexuality, and why it’s so important to prioritize your pleasure and the connection between you and your...

Let’s discuss the patriarchy and how it impacts our ability to experience pleasure in our bodies, starting from a young age, and sticking with us throughout our entire lives. The reason I’m talking about the patriarchy on a sex podcast is that the way we are socialized as women is going to greatly impact the way that we are able to show up in our bodies and experience sex and pleasure. When we have awareness about the types of messages we receive, we can see how our brain is naturally going to react when it comes to sex, pleasure, and our body image. Then, once we have awareness about it, we can begin to change and rewire it, so that we are more tuned in to experience pleasure.

In this episode, I share some of the patriarchal messaging we receive, how to work through those beliefs, and share some of the transformations that women in my group coaching program are experiencing right now. 

Topics in this episode

• The image of the good girl, and it’s affect on...

Across the last two episodes, we’ve been discussing motivation and desire when it comes to sex, how they’re different, and how they interact with each other in order for you to have more pleasure. So often the terms “desire” and “arousal” are used interchangeably, but they really are not the same. Desire is the eagerness and wanting to have sex, and arousal is the physiological response to sexual stimulus. In this episode, we dive into what it means to feel aroused, how to get there, and why it’s the missing piece to your libido and being able to be a fully pleasured woman. 

I’m also really excited to share a recent testimonial I received from a woman in my group coaching program, Better Sex in 90 Days. We’re coming up on the last few weeks of the program, and there have been so many ah-ha moments, mindset shifts, and celebrations, and it has been such a joy to see the amazing things these women have accomplished. 

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If you’ve been listening to this podcast, you’ll know that your thoughts create your feelings. This episode is a continuation of the conversation we started last week about motivation and desire, and how those play a role over the course of a long-term monogamous relationship, which may result in a lack of desire for sex. Last week I shared the difference between motivation and desire, the cultural factors that created the motivation for sex, and that once the goal of a long term relationship is secured, the motivation for sex is diminished. 

In this episode, we continue exploring the connection between motivation and desire, and how we can use our thoughts to create the feelings of enthusiasm and excitement, which drive our desire for pleasurable sex. To hear last week’s episode, go here: https://daniellesavory.com/ep-70-motivation-to-have-sex/

Topics in this episode

• Have some compassion and love for yourself.
• The difference between motivation and...

One of the most common things I hear from women is about how their desire has diminished throughout the course of their long-term, monogamous relationships, and that it may have even stopped altogether. For most of us, we have been brought up with a cultural narrative of the importance of securing that long-term relationship. And one of the ways in which we secure this relationship with our “person” is through sex. In this episode, I dive into the subconscious motivations for sex within a relationship, what it is that creates desire, and a prompt for self-reflection on why it is you want to tap into your desire and for doing this work.  

Topics in this episode 

• Pleasure is not measured in the same sense of achievement or milestones as other areas of our lives, making it difficult to find the motivation to invest in ourselves and our desires
• Motivation versus desire
• The biggest factor that keeps us from owning our pleasure
• We can’t enjoy sex more if...