It's My Pleasure Podcast

In today’s episode, I talk with Claire Byrne, a heartbreak coach who helps women stop wanting Mr. and Mrs. Wrong back. She’s the host and creator of her podcast, How to Stop Wanting Him Back and is also a regular contributor to Kourtney Kardashian’s Poosh.com. Claire is also a really good friend of mine. We met way back when we were just getting into coaching, and it has been really great to be on this journey of building our businesses together. 

In our conversation, we cover a number of topics, things I often get asked about sex and heartbreak, emotional availability, and of course pain and healing and pleasure. It was so much fun talking with my friend, and I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did. 

Topics in this episode

• When should you have sex after heartbreak?
• What is required in order to heal from heartbreak
• Heartbreak is not a linear process
• Being ok with rejection
• The price you have to be willing to pay for healing and pleasure 
• ...

If you think about this time of year, depending on where you live, something you may experience is snow. This is something that I’m thinking about this week as it’s predicted for Portland. Talking to people about the possibility and hearing the tone they use when they say the word “snow” has got me thinking about how the way we say a word can impact how we feel.

One of the most common responses I get to this podcast is the request to break down some of the concepts I cover into their simplest detail so that you can start applying them to your life. In this episode, I share how getting turned on and accessing your pleasure isn’t about adding anything to your day or your life. We need to pay attention to what’s getting in the way, so we can remove the blocks, and become the sexually pleasured woman you want to be.

Topics in this episode

• How disempowering our thinking can be
• We don’t have to settle. 
• Sex is irrelevant to modern-day life
• When you’re starting something new, that can be exciting. And that becomes more tantalizing than having sex can be. 
• Circumstances are neutral. It’s about how you think about them that will either make them an obstacle or not. 
• What’s keeping you from pleasure?  

Thank you so much for joining. As always, it’s been my absolute pleasure to...

As we kick off a new year, I want us to take some time to reflect and evaluate the last year that we had. It’s important to take a look back, to know what is working and what isn’t. And in the realm of sexuality, what is working for you in order to feel like a sexually empowered woman? In this episode, I share helpful prompts to use when thinking about the past year and the goals you want to set for 2020. Let’s make 2020 the sexiest year yet.

Topics in this episode

• 3 Questions:
  • What worked?
  • What didn’t work?
  • What am I going to do differently?
• How to move through negative thoughts and feelings that may arise
• Getting specific with our goals
• Stretch goals, and why they are good for us
• Having a growth mindset
• Be willing to fail
• Productive vs unproductive failure
• What sexual failure looks like
• Not having sex
• Changing your mind and deciding it isn’t worth it
• Letting the “how” get in your way
• Not following through
• Being ok with...

Meditation and mindfulness is the foundation of how I started to become a coach. It’s such a passion of mine and played a huge role in my healing journey. I recently wrapped up a 10-day challenge in my Facebook group, the pleasured woman, called the mindful morning challenge. After completing it, I was inspired to talk with you this week about meditation, its benefits, and how it can help with your pleasure. The purpose of the challenge was to create a foundation in our mornings to be more intentional in order to help us be able to show up throughout the day and create positive change in creating pleasure.

Topics in this Episode

• Difference between mindfulness and meditation
• There are different types of mediation, based on the desire results you are seeking
• Insight meditation focuses on the inner connection between the mind and body
• This focus allows you to notice when your mind has wandered so that you can bring it back
• “I’m showing up for what is”
• How...

‘Tis the season for a lot of feelings. Emotions, and how we deal with them, affect our capacity to experience pleasure. Feelings and emotions come from what we are thinking, either conscious thoughts, or what is in the background. I want to talk about how we often go wrong with emotions, how we can meet them and process them. When we practice feeling, that allows us to get closer to pleasure.

Topics in this episode

• Emotions are labeled by the physical response we have to certain triggers
• Feelings are created by a thought or belief in the brain our brain, and our mind’s interpretation of what’s going on around us or “to” us
• The first step is to be the observer and to notice the quick thought that triggers our emotions.
• How is it that I’m not able to automatically switch my feelings if I’m aware of the thoughts that are creating those feelings?
• Emotions live in the body and may stick around for a while
• The steps to feeling your feelings:...

I often hear women feeling bad about speaking up for what they want. This apologetic energy carries into the bedroom, and it can mean feeling bad for saying no or feeling embarrassed. To be a pleasured woman, this is something we need to work through individually and collectively. It is time.  I hope this episode will help you realize how perhaps you are showing up with some apologetic energy in between the sheets and how might be able to shift out of it so you can go and get your pleasure. 

Topics in this episode

• Why we feel sorry in the first place
• The role of cognitive dissonance
• Having the belief that we are in charge of other people’s feelings. 
• What are you afraid of that keeps you from using your voice?
• Delivering our requests with boldness and with kindness.
• Open up the dialogue, without taking responsibility

It is holiday season and I think that I’m not alone with a say people are feeling the stresses. Today I want to hop on the gratitude train because around Thanksgiving there’s so much talk about gratitude, and what it can do for us. I think that it is such an important part of creating more pleasure in your life.

When we’re talking about having a good sex life, it’s not just about the sex we’re having. It’s about creating the internal structure in our brain so that we can open the invitation and it’s easy for pleasure to enter. Focusing on our brain as an internal resource, and asking ourselves: what are the things that we’re working on with our mind on purpose that is going to help us have more pleasurable sex? 

Topics in this episode

• Practicing pleasure on purpose
• Creating a system of resilience
• The opposite of gratitude
• The key is awareness
• Complaining is the ultimate killer of passion and pleasure
• Article by Robert Emmons:...

Today we’re going to talk about the simple concept of enjoying sex and how to focus on enjoying it. As we learn that there’s more enjoyment in something, we’re much more likely to increase our motivation to do the thing that brings us satisfaction. It makes sense why so many women suffer from low desire and wanting to increase their libido. It doesn’t have a reward we are used to experiencing. But it is time for a reclamation to our pleasure and to actually wanting it, because we love it. In this episode I share tips on how to begin to want pleasure, how to open your mind to it, and how to keep it once you have it.

Topics in this episode:

• The reward that comes from sex
• There’s nothing wrong with male sexual pleasure, but there should be pleasure for you both.
• Make it a habit to practice pleasure
• You don’t have to do anything new. You just have to harness your attention to pleasure
• The intention of finding the good 
• Warming up your...

I was talking with one of my clients this week about last week’s episode. Desire and drive are different because it isn’t a biological need, but how does that change anything for us? This week I want to continue the conversation about how to want sex, and understanding our inner voices and what it takes to want to undergo change.

I love hearing your thoughts. It always helps inform what I should spend my time talking about in these episodes and what I want to share. I want to hear your thoughts and follow up questions. Hit me up directly at [email protected]. You can also follow me on Instagram and message me @DanielleSavoryCoaching.

Topics in this episode:

• The thoughts and belief patterns that get in the way of sexual pleasure
• How those thoughts take us to a place of rejection of ourselves and partnerships
• Changing the tone of your thoughts
• Learning how to want sex
• The siren and the sage
• Acting from a place of thoughts that were chosen ahead of time
...